“I don’t have any rules, because I’d only be breaking them” Iris Apfel

It is not a secret that my life’s been quite the Tapestry, I guard my privacy whilst wearing my stories on my sleeve. I am in truth, always a reliable contradiction in terms.

This year I made it past my 46th birthday & to my 46th Christmas, there have been many, many times I doubted this would happen but here I am.

So it occurred to me since I’m here, what exactly was I supposed to be doing, more importantly what had I missed in the years lost to anxiety, eating disorders & fear, and then Giambattista Valli & a collaboration with H&M happened.

Combined with a long haul flight & watching the documentary Iris, I was left wondering if, after all these years I could start to be braver, and besides what did that even mean.

Heading towards 50 is a blessing, a gift but I’m not going to lie Its rarely described openly in the positive, so I decided to be my own version of today, a unique version & to walk the path my own way & to as far as possible break as many rules on the journey as possible.

So with the help of my husband & his extraordinary patience & support, the internet, a 4 hour time distance & a very long nervous wait in an online queuing system, a red dress was purchased.

Not just any red dress but one fit for a Kardashian if the advertising were to be believed, and I am no Kardashian, but I liked it, it’s theatrical, over the top ‘this is me’ presence, a whisper back to my dancing days, to lights, to cameras & in truth to someone I had always wanted to be and lacked the confidence to encourage into the world.

I realise now I have spent much of my life avoiding the chance of ridicule, so when I stepped out in my ‘too much’ dress I openly invited the world to laugh, to smile, to talk about me, come what may.

The truth is people loved the dress & saw it for what it is, a chance to brighten up sometimes dark moments in life

So as the year closes why am I sharing this experience, simply because I learned a valuable lesson reaching 46, we don’t always have to remain what we have always been, we don’t have to be the ‘sensible’ ‘calm’ or ‘reliable’ person that others often need us to be, unless of course we decide it suits us to be so.

If we wish however, whatever age we are, shape we are, weight we are, we can simply be a woman in a red dress.

Much love,

Suzy xxx